I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
