yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Everyone says I win the strip club
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
