That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
