so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
