i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
