why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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