white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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