Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
only if we run a train.
done.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
