the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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