69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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