No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
