I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
