so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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