You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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