you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
