There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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