turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
so much tequila, so little girl.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
