butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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