I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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