Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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