the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
