Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
