yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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