meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
