I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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