Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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