let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
