i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize