he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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