Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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