That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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