True but thats because hes a fetus.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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