I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
