I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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