Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
