Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
