Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize