why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
