Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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