Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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