If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Randomize
