Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
