we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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