how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
