i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
