I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
