Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
