i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
