Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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