So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize