So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
