i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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