your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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