This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
