I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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