Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
