I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You took a bar mat shot.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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