thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
