tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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