drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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