Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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