naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
