there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
