does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
